


The 2nd Worst Dangan Ronpa Fanfictions, Ever

by peepothesneepo



Category: Dangan Ronpa, Dangan Ronpa 3: The End of 希望ヶ峰学園 | The End of Kibougamine Gakuen | End of Hope's Peak High School, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Bc we didn't know his name, I CANT BELIEVE THIS CURSED SHIT IS THE FIRST NDRV3 FIC ON AO3, Keebo is called Mechkoto, Multi, Objectphilia, Vore, Watersports, honestly my friends will write anything
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-28
Updated: 2016-10-20
Packaged: 2018-08-18 10:00:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8158162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peepothesneepo/pseuds/peepothesneepo
Summary: My friends like to write shitty fics, so I'm compiling them here for safekeeping. These are all sins, this work is cursed. Only read it if you're sure your ready for cursed content. These were all made on Titanpad, so things will go from Non-Fic to fic.Title changed, because nothing is as bad as Summer Love. Not even we can top that shit.





	1. Chisa Yukizome Fucks a Chandelier

Callin wrote all of this, what a sinning bastard  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
THE CHISA TRIES TO FUCK A CHANDELIER BEST FIC

 

CHAPTER 1: DENIAL  
Once upon a time, there was a young and tender maid named Chisa Yukizome, and she had a bangin bod with a big ass badonk a donk but that's not the focus right now, let's talk about the love of her life, the chandelier that hung in the entranceway of her home. She would always put the most care into when it was finally that day of the week when she cleaned the chandelier. Softly stroking the glass with her silken rag and always putting the right amount of windex on its glistening surface. Sometimes she would whisper things to the chandelier, things ranging from "How was your day?" to "Fuck me in the ass daddy" and she could've sworn Chandelier's light would grow in intensity whenever she spoke to it. Even though she tried to keep this a secret, there was a couple of times when Juzo or Munakata would walk in on her cleaning the Chandelier. Munakata was very jealous of this chandelier. She spent more time with it than him. He was pissed. He couldn't believe how he was being ignored for a fucking piece of lighting, it wasn't even fucking alive. Did Chisa really despise them that much now? He used to spend all day with Chisa, but ever since they joined the Future Foundation she seemed entranced by that chandelier. He tried to throw it away and replace it with a new one a lot of times, but Chisa always stopped him, preventing him from going through with his plan. Why was he being put down for this piece of shit? He was a man of class, but he didn't even spend much money on this chandelier in paticular after wasting all of his money on hookers. I mean, he could just go gay, but #nohomo was what he lived by (and those were some really good hookers). He could not take it any longer. The chandelier had to go. Now. And Munakata would not give up this time.

CHAPTER 2: PASSION  
It was the middle of the night Chisa had just returned from war she was and realized she was completely and totally alone except for her beloved chandelier and herself. That's when she had the bright idea of fucking it. She loved it so much and it loved her back so it was time to take the relationship to the next nevel. Hell, she was a kinky mother fucker. She could do it. If she could do Munakata and his hard ass then the chandelier would be no problem. After getting a stepladder from a storage closet in one of the hallways and putting it on the table, she crept up to the hanging lighting device, her heartbeat rapidly increasing. Making sure she would not knock down her lover in the process, she began to unbutton her shirt and took it off her as well as her bra. Slowly stroking the now lukewarm metal designs on the chandelier, she leaned in onto it and began to whisper sweet nothing into it's lightbulbs. The chandelier's lights sputtered, for some reason.  
"How about I reward you for being such a handsome chandelier?" She whispered, now wriggling out of her skirt. Chandelier-kun's lights intensified, after months of cleaning and loving the chandelier she figured out this was the light fixture's way of blushing. Taking off her undergarments, she climbed onto a lightbulb that had gone out a week ago that nobody bothered to replace steadily. She felt nervous in taking the entire length of the lightbulb at once, so she decided to go slow. She rubbed her entrance against the still warm tip of the lightbulb, she moaned quietly at the pleasure the warmness brought to her. She quickly slapped her hand to her mouth and bit into one of her fingers. She moved her hips slightly so the bulb rubbed onto her clit, she squeezed her eyes shut and released another breathy moan. She could feel herself getting wetter and her mind going hazy, she couldn't take it any longer. She quickly moved her hips so the bulb was against her entrance again, she started to lower herself down onto the bulb and moaned loudly against her hand. The warmth of the bulb was unreal against her inner walls and the size was perfect for her, not too big but yet not too small, much better than Kyosuke's small dick. The more she lowered herself, the more pleasure shot up her spine. She wanted to hit there, her g-spot. She lifted herself up and gently slammed herself back down, careful not break the bulb. She felt the tip brush against her g-spot and moaned far too loudly against her hand and she bit down on her fingers harder. With every rock of her hips, her moans got louder and louder as the tip kept brushing against her spot.  
Naegi woke up in the middle of his kinky dream involving Togami and a lot of coconut milk. He heard something that sounded suspiciously like Chisa ramming her vagina into one of the chandelier's lightbulbs. He tried to get up to investigate, but Kirigiri walked into the room and stopped him.  
"Kirigiri what's going on-"  
"Shhhh my son. Go back to sleep," she said as she jammed her gloved index finger into Naegi's slightly open mouth, and roughly pushed Naegi away. Naegi just shrugged and laid back in his bed trying to fall asleep.  
"But why?" asked Naegi.

"Shhhh. I must be mysterious like that."

CHAPTER:3 REVEAL  
"Is everything alright in there? It sounds like somethings about to fall?" There was a creak as the door opened. Chisa's eyes widened, realizing she forgot to lock the door before deiciding to fuck Chandelier-kun. "Huh, the door's unlocked, so I guess not." Munakata said, now opening the door wider. What he saw made him stop in his tracks. His beloved Chisa was riding the fucking chandelier. "Yukizome?" He couldn't believe it. He knew she was so attached to that piece of shit that it was weird, but that was on a whole new level of completely fucked up. He never would have thought she had such fetishes.  
"Oh...hey...Munakata...wassup?" Chisa said, laughing awkwardly as she continued riding Chandelier-kun. "I didn't expect you to be back for another hour."  
"I tried my best to finish work early so I could see you. Obviously I shouldn't have done it. Then I wouldn't have been exposed to your kinky fantasies of fucking inanimate objects and had my heart broken. What the actual fuck, Yukizome? Do you wan't me to fire you from the Future Foundation for sexual advances on a chandelier?"  
"I wish I could say that it's not what it looks like, but it totally is. Chandelier-kun and I are in love. Tonight would've been the first time we made love if you didn't interrupt."  
Munakata tried his best to fight back the tears that threatened to fall. He thought that if he could get rid of the chandelier there would be hope for him and Chisa, but she was obviously crazy as fuck. Why had he fallen in love with such a crazy ass bitch? He needed to rethink his life choices. Maybe fucking Juzo wouldn't be such a bad idea after all. At least he wouldn't cheat on him with a chandelier. Probably. At this rate he wouldn't be surprised if he has a fire hydrant fetish.  
"You are fucking weird!" He slammed the door closed and ran back to his room to cry like a little bitch, and maybe get a fucking gun from somewhere if he could so he could either shoot himself and summon his Persona, or shove it up his ass. At this point his gun fetish seemed completely normal.  
Munakata's outburst didn't bother Chisa in the slightest and she and Chandelier-kun continued making sweet love to each other. It managed to reach places inside her no man or woman had before. If she had known that she would feel such pleasure from having sex with an inanimate object she would have done it a long time ago. But she knew the truth- it was because of the uncondtional love she and Chandelier-kun had for one another.  
Chisa had the best orgasm of her whole life, and stopped her hips moving so she could calm down from her high. She shaked her hips slightly as she pulled herself off of the bulb and jumped down from the chandelier, her legs still unsteady. She reminded herself to clean her lover more throughly than ever, it deserved it after it had done such a good job. 

Little did they know that a poor Mitari who fell asleep during the meeting hours earlier after being tired out from pulling an all-nighter to finish a few frames the day before had witnessed the whole thing. Thus, scarring him for life.

CHAPTER 4: DEPRESSION  
Cohisa wasn't in the best of positions after all of this had happened and she needed someone to talk to but no one would be able to understand, would they? Then she remembered the source of the Togami fortune, rumured to have wisdom beyond all human life, and they could tell her if she and chandelier could really be together and if it would all work out. However she had to move fast before the entire future foundation called her up to kinkshame her. She immediatly found her way to the bottom of munakata's "super secret glowing monument" which they called their secret base where they were being held. She opened the door and there they were chewing on some grass it was the cow she had heard so much about and she almost couldnt believe it was real.  
"Oh great Cow, please provide me your wisdom, I am in a terrible circumstance and I beg you to give me answers and tell me which path is right."  
The Cow only mooed in response.  
"Please dear Cow you don't understand. The chandelier...it was beautiful. I must make love to it."  
"Moo-" The Cow became triggered by the fact that Chisa called him "dear cow". His real name was "The Cow."

"Oh, Great Cow. Please! Tell me what I should do!"

The Cow was overtriggered and fell over, dead. Leaving Chisa in complete and utter silence.

Meanwhile, Tengan overheard the whole thing. "Intriguing, Chisa has a chandelier fetish. I must tell everyone!"

"Oh shit, The Cow is dead!" Tengan realized.

Meanwhile, Gozu cried on the inside. But all he said on the outside was "Moo."

CHAPTER 5: ACCEPTANCE  
After Chisa's little fiasco, the future foundation had to organise a meeting immediatley. Tengan asked "Chisa, why on earth do you want to fuck the chandelier?"  
"What we really should be asking is why Bandai's here. He's too innocent for this... chandelier fucking shit. Have him borrow Miaya's headphones or whatever at the very least, he doesn't fucking deserve this." Seiko muttered under her breath as Maiya handed Bandai her headphones. Looks like someone's losing their innocence because the headphones were just a tad bit too small. "Maybe I should give him something sweet ;)" Said Ruruka. "Wait no, I won't bc I'm a bitch haha" Soon enough they came up with a compromise where Gozu would cover Bandai's ears for the time being. They all sighed with relief at the fact that poor innocent Bandai was safe at the very least.

Mitirai was blushing as he pictured the sinful sight in the dephs of his mind. His heartbeat continued to rise do to being too timid for such thing and fainted in the spot with his hand down his pants. Gozu covered Bandai's eyes as well. In fact, he just tied up the smiling mother fucker.

Chisa was on her knees sobbing. " I just wanted to show my love to it, Is that so wrong?" She said trying to defend herself feebly. The entire room was a mess of reactions. Many reacted with sounds of surprise or digust, others began to ridicule her for ever doing such a thing, and the rest were just plain shocked at her actions. Except Togamoney (who told everybody too adress him by that ever since he returned from Towa City, those who tried to question him about it would get shooed off or hit with pennies.) who looked at her disgust from his perch on his daddy long legs.

 

Munakata looked enraged as he leapt onto the table and began gesturing more than Donald Trump has in his entire career. "Yukizome, why in the everloving fuck would you betray my trust and love to fuck a light fixture!?" He seethed, digging his nails into the palms of his hands. "You know what, I'm done with dealing with your god damn bullshit. Maybe sticking around near those god damn Remnants of Despair turned your common sense into mush!" He bellowed, leaping off the table with a thud and then racing out of the room as fast his legs could carry him.

After the awkward silence passed, the rest turned to her and smiled. "We don't care if you're a sinful chandelier fucker Chisa, Everybody's fucked an inanimate object at one point in our life... well... besides Bandai...I think?" Izayoi said. "Even Andou's candies....wait...fuck."  
Andou became triggered after she learned what Izayoi does with her candies when he's alone at night. Seiko however had become aroused.  
Fedora man removed his fedora slowly to reveal white stains filling the bowl shape of the hat.  
"Hell, I fucked the skull of my dead father," said Kirigiri trying to reassure Chisa. Naegi turned his head slightly, but decided against questioning her about it.  
"Yeah, just the rest of us aren't crazy to fuck something as big as a chandelier so props for that" Commented fedora man who's name i dont remember as he absent-mindedly flipped through a magazine in the corner of the room. "Moo." said Gozu. Seiko wanted to add to Gozu's last remark so she made her face look absolutely adorable (not really) and starting meowing like a gazelle with despair disease.Gozu was not impressed. However, he was hot and bothered so they eventually fuck at some point. 

Then they all went to bed happy that the sittuation had been defused exept from Munakata who cried himself to sleep and never recovered from his experience until his boyfriend Sakukura promised to sleep with him the following night.

Also Chisa decided to sleep up high on top of the chandelier aka her beloved and found comfort knowing that the hope of her feelings for chandelier kun could combat any despair that came across her path. Or at least that's what she thought...

Tengan was up too something else however as after everybody went to bed as he had his own fetish he need to fufill. He went to the future foundation's storage closet and got himself some rope. Chisa inspired him to live his life to the fullest and in order to do this he would need the closesnt thing to tentacles to fufill his dream of living a tentacle rape scene. He locked the door (to avoid the Chisa scene again) and stripped down. He slowly wrapped himself in the rope, feeling his cock harden. Contrary to what the other Future Foundation heads thought, Tengan's cock was actually quite large. Only Gozu's and Bandai's was larger, but I never told you that. He slithered in the end of the rope and began pushing it in. He moaned as he began approaching orgasm. He only pushed the rope in more, imagining that they were slimy tentacles slowly violating him.

Aged,white, hot cum erupted out of Tengan as he experienced an orgasm that made Chisa's look small. For years, Tengan had been saving up cum for this very moment. He screamed as his man milk shot out of his gigantic uncut cock and splattered itself on the walls and ceiling. Tengan pulled out the rope, causing more of his manly essence to spill out, although it simply dripped down his wide shaft.

With his stimulation finished, Tengan licked what cum he had off his cock and left the room in a hurry, hoping to blame the coating of the walls with his seed on one of the guards.

Maybe if he was lucky enough, it actually was the guards.  
(okay but did skittle write this im curious-)

 

FINAL CHAPTER: GRIEF

The next day, tragedy struck.

Chisa was asleep on the chandelier, still dreaming about the magnificent bulbs and that one time she fucked the chandelier. 

Suddenly, a humoungous crash sounded throughout the tower!

Gozu and Seiko were the next to find out the horrible tragedy. They were sleeping together after a rough night Gozu becoming a dom. Surprising, right? When they heard the loud crash, they both got up, covered themselves up and ran to the conference room to check on Chisa.Well, Seiko did, Gozu is filling in the role of fanservice and is shirtless for the time being.Miaya wheeled in behind them only moments later having taken many, many, many pictures of the night to illegally sell on the deep web. She saved a picture of Gozu for lonely nights. 

When they got there, they found Chisa sobbing.

For there was the shattered remains of her beloved on the table.

"Moo." said Gozu, which translated to "Seiko, get the others." for the sake of this fic.

"Yes daddy- I mean, yes!" Seiko replied, and ran off to get the others, leaving Chisa to process the fact that Gozu got pussy. Hell, we all knew he was a kinky bastard with the mask, but we didn't expect him to hit it. And managed to get Seiko to call him "Daddy". Miaya rolled in on her office chair, seemingly insulted about the fact Seiko called Gozu 'daddy' instead of her. She bumped into Gozu, annoyed at him. That night, Gozu would exercise his dom rights, and Miaya would learn the true lesson of why you don't fuck with a horny Gozu. Not like she would feel much of anything considering she was paralyzed below the waist, but it was the thought that counts.

Seiko managed to get everyone to the room, except for Andou and Izayoi, because Andou was busy showing Izayoi her "sweet" side. Everyone in this fucking future foundation seemed to be a kinky bastard. Hell, it wouldn't surprise anyone if Bandai joined in somehow and lost his innocence. Actually, scratch that. Bandai will always be innocent. He must be protected. He is the precious. Because of this, he will forever be a virgin and will probably meet Teruteru after being chucked into a volcano as a sacrifice because of it. R.I.P.

Chisa stood up, and promptly fainted from the shock of Chandelier-kun's death. And also from the fact that Gozu was a dom, but mostly from the short departure of her inanimate lover. All his bulbs were shattered, and there was nothing left to fully stimulate her. Munakata walked in, eyes still red from crying the night before. There was a loud "HAH!" from the co-owner of the Future Foundation at the sight of the chandelier's remains. Chisa bared her teeth at her former lover. "Even if he's dead now, he still gave better dick than you. Hell, he was a fucking chandelier." 

"Oooooh!" Everyone reacted to Chisa's sick burn. Munakata died from the sick burn and everyone lived happily ever after. Except for Chisa, she tried to kill herself by impaling herself on Chandelier-kun's spikes but she failed. The End.

Tengan would later become a muscular porn star and be sucessful at life.

Munakata stays dead in the conference room.

Fedora guy would later become the new Paul McCartney. He is now on stage, dying a horrendous death after revealing that he likes Nickelback.

Seiko Kimura married Arthur from Fire Emblem Fates and became obsessed with justice. She is busy being a police officer. She has also given birth to a son who she named "Justice". He is a very fast runner and is currently forced to kill his teacher, Koro Sensei.

Chisa has recovered from the loss of Chandelier-kun and has married a second chandelier.

Juzo, at the loss of his Munakata, has been fucked to death by Tengan and Gozu, simultaneously.

Miaya has become a Greninja-kin and is now lying at the bottom of the sea, drowning.

Ruruka would later become a Frillish-kin with Miaya, dead under the sea.

Sonosuke would become an interior designer. However, he has been stoned to death because he made a carpeted kitchen.

Ryota faded from existence after seeing his imposter. He has yet to be found.

Great Gozu has become the caretaker of the ex-Warriors of Hope. When they are asleep, he and Tengan have 'fun times'.

Aoi Asahina would later spontaneously explode after Togamoney banned her from eating donuts. Her remains have yet to be scraped off the ceiling.

Togamoney and Toko have found love in a hopeless place. 

Hagakure was found to be The Cow, who died from triggering.

Kirigiri is mysterious.

Naegi is now delusional and believes that Chisa has been killed by the chandelier. He is now slowly losing his sanity.

 

Original Ending  
Chandelier-kun fucking dies dude. Looks like Chisa fucked him too hard that he fell like hagakure's crystal meth. RIP man. Chisa loved him and she tried to commit suicide by impaling herself on his beutiful spikes one last time. But she still alive. How?

TOPIC GAY  
Excuse me what the fuck is this - This is life 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was written right after episode 1 when sia memes were strong


	2. Sakakiza Piss Park

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's where the watersports come in  
> I blame Thomes

"Rick Harrison is Banned": a Dangan Ronpa 3 Fanfiction by Discord

AN: Special thanks to Meghan, without whom this would have been very much possible, but a lot less entertaining. I don't own Dangan Ronpa, My Little Pony, Ashley Tisdale, or a brain. If I did I wouldn't be writing this.

Holds up spork.

Juzo Sakakura opened the door to his apartment and immediately let a loud groan escape his mouth. He had suffered through a long day of needless, and peeless violence. First, he saw some children eating ice cream, so he punched their wrists and made them drop it. Then, he saw a brat having an existential crisis, so he kicked a feeling of worthlessness into them. He then saw some cops trying to stop a bank robber, so he Tiger Uppercut them into unconciousness and wished the thieves good luck. Doing his job was exhausting.

He wandered into the living room, the delectable aroma of microwaveable chicken nuggets and cup ramen catching on his nose as it wafted from the kitchen. He flopped on the couch, dragging his Pretty in Pink Deluxe Ashley Tisdale® Never Gonna Give You Up Cover blanket over him. After a while of being audibly disgruntled, he heard the kitchen door creak open. His boyfriend uttered approximately ten thousand curses under his breath before making his way over.

Koichi, holding his limited edition paperback copy of Makoto Naegi's Foot Fetish Adventures, looked down at Juzo all bundled up. He tipped his fedora. "M'dinner." Koichi smirked and set a paper plate containing 3 and a half chicken nugger and a single spoonful of "Kirigiri Head" brand cup ramen. Juzo grinned; they were dining fancy tonight. Koichi took out his plate, containing the same portions, and the two ate together.

"You know the only thing that tastes better than that meal?" Koichi asked, suddenly. Juzo tilted his head in confusion. "What?" the boxer asked. Koichi shuffled in close, wiggling his eyebrows and whispering in his boyfriend's ear...."M'your ass."hot

Juzo's erection sprang up immediately. It was a visible bump in his Pretty in Pink Deluxe Ashley Tisdale® Never Gonna Give You Up Cover blanket. Like a little mole in the garden, and you know Koichi is gonna whack it tonight. Koichi grinned and stretched his hand out towards it, stroking it gently. "Wanna get real Ｗ Ｅ Ｉ Ｒ Ｄ tonight, babe?" he asked in a sly tone. Juzo exhaled in a shaky gasp and nodded quickly.

Koichi dragged Juzo by his rock hard baby dick over to the closet. He opened it up to reveal an array of collars and leashes. He took out a red collar with a golden bone on it and strapped it around Juzo's neck, before taking out a red leash. He made sure there were dropping bags stocked, and clipped it onto Juzo.

Koichi got on his knees and looked at Juzo's throbbing, sorry stubby excuse of a dick. He then reached towards the unzipped fly...and zipped it up. He shot upwards and yanked on the leash, tugging Juzo towards the door.

"Th-The fuck?" Juzo stuttered as Koichi pulled him into the hallway. Sakakura struggled to pull the collar off in the elevator, to no avail. "What are we doing?" he whispered to Koichi. Koichi smirked and planted a kiss on his cheek before whispering in his ear, "Getting weird." The rumor come out: Does Koichi Kizakura is Gay? The answer. Yes. Yes he does is very gay.

And about five minutes later, things were weird. They were at the dog park. The sunset was gorgeous as it reflected off the rays of vape ascending from fuckboys at park benches, and the fiendly aroma of lawn mowers and dog droppings hung in the air. Juzo took a deep breath and started to walk forward, matching Koichi's pace.

Every now and then, Koichi would speed up, yanking the collar. Juzo yelped, and sped up a bit. His erection didn't fade at all, only increasing in hardness; though, much to his manly dismay, it did not increase in size beyond the measly three inches it was already. The walk strangely felt like he was pleasuring himself like I am currently pleasuring myself with this fish (All the fish love me, Komaeda). 

He looked at Koichi, and saw the man shove his free hand in his pocket. Watching the bulge, Juzo could tell the talent scout was subtly stroking his own cock - which was not much bigger than Juzo's, at a mere four inches fully erect - through his pocket. With his third hand Koichi was slurping out a bowl of milk which had been chocolatified by Count Chocula. And with his fourth he was fingering his own butt. (AN: See, that's the secret Koichi was hiding for the entire first half of Future Arc, that he had four arms.)

JATARO KEMURI.

Finally, they reached a checkpoint. The loop had brought them to a large tree. Koichi bent over and sniffed the roots, before standing up and grinning. "Piss on it," he demanded with a sly grin. "E-Eh!?" Juzo asked, confounded. "You heard me," mumbled Koichi. "Claim your territory, be a good boy." (By the way, it is considered cool to perform sexual acts upon insects of the genus Apis).

Juzo bent down to the base of the tree and unzipped his fly, his three incher popping out as he did. He took a deep breath and pushed. A steady flow of urine burst out, landing on the tree. Koichi moaned, and felt his own cock burst with a sticky fluid as he came. Juzo moaned in turn: "O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U-JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A-E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A-JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA", as piss continued to mark the tree.

Suddenly, a gunshot erupted. Juzo's dick exploded in a burst of blood as a bullet decimated it. "HEY YOU!" a security guard yelled, reloading his shotgun. "GET OFF MY PROPERTY!"

Juzo screamed in pain. Koichi picked him up and tried to carry him, only to get shot in the foot. Koichi fell over, his hands tightening around the leash. Juzo fell down with him. 

"J-Juzo..." Koichi whispered as the guard approached. "Go on...without me..."

"I fucking can't, asshole." Juzo yelled.

The security guard pulled the trigger. Koichi fell over, motionless. Juzo stared in shock. "I can't live...without you..." Juzo stared down at his erection, positioned upwards. He clenched his pelvic muscles, and holy water flew out, into his mouth. What the fuck. The toxic urine killed him instantly. His bracelet beeped. The message "CANNOT DRINK HIS OWN PISS" appeared on it. It injected him with poison except he was already dead. So that happened.

Koichi pulled himself up. The bullet merely grazed him! But Juzo was already fucking dead, deader than your hopes and dreams and also deader than Teruteru Hanamura. Koichi took the leash and made a noose out of it, hanging himself beside his boyfriends piss stained corpse.

Until....

Koichi grabbed the sheets of paper out of Monaca "Ruins Everything" "Warrior of Crap" "Fuck Off No One Likes You" "Rick Harrison" Towa's hands. "That's quite enough of your...'fanfiction'....young lady," he said in a disgusted tone, cringing at the remaining paragraphs. The teacher tore the papers into shreds. 

Monaca squealed at the sight of her peepo leashplay fanfic, all the hours of work she poured into it, be destroyed and disposed of without hesitation. "Ahhhh, the despair...!" she giggled, her eyes starting to roll into the back of her head.

Daddy opened his asshole to accept shrek into his body, but simply closed it. He had no words for this shrek baby. He picked her up by her hair with two fingers, as if she was a contiminated object, and cautiously carried her back to her seat.

"So, who's next for shove dicks up your ass and tell?" he asked after a long exhale. He called upon a random daddy - Gretal Shibuki, her name was - and sat down at his desk. That fanfiction was weird as hell, but...it did give him some ideas about tonight's funk house party... BIG DICC

The end. Final. No more hell.

Then Chisa came in to SWIIIIIIIIIIIIING on the chandelier the paaAAWWN SHOP

what the fuck is this its “I’m Rick Harrison and this is my pawn shop. I work here with my old man and my son, Big Hoss, and in 23 years I’ve learned one thing. You never know what is gonna come through that door.”

Meanwhile Ibuki and Mikan were already having lesbian relations, as were Kyouko and Touko, but you'll never get to see it happen because the whole thing has ended.

Hello my name is Celestia Dark'ness Dementia Raven Lüdenbërg and i have long ebony black hair (thats how i got my name) I also fucked the shit out of Thomes daddy and he loved it and I didn't care about anyone because who cares about anyone else's feelings when I exist because whatever I think is always right cause i have 3 bullet dildos shoved up my ass at all times and fuck you don't correct my grammar you hoes, get out of my house before I shove carrots up your hose plant ass.

real dangan hours who up clicc like

gun


	3. Ahoge Art Online

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I haven't read this one myself so? I don't know what hell you're in for. Good luck, have fun.

Ahoge Art Online - Mechutoo x Kirito Self-Insert Smut Rated 10/10 by WH Smiths  
~KIRITO APPROVES~  
Maki was aggressively kazooing one day when Keebo came in holding a bunch of papers. "READ THESE" he yelled as he thrusted them onto her tiddy.

She gasped and picked them up with her Madarai-like tongue, and rubbed her eyeballs on the paper intensely as she read it.

It was day 4206911037 of Sword Art Online and Kirito was sexually frustrated to the core. The sky was clear and the birds were singing "SOULJA BOY UP IN THIS CLUB WIND ME CRANK DAT WIND ME UP". Kirito stood up from his kinder surprise egg-sized bed and sighed.  
"I'm thirsty" He said in a bored tone. "Fine, I'll get you some water" Said Mechkoto and went to the kitchen, tripping over Kirito's sexy body in the meantime. "What the actual fuck are you doing here?" The robo ahoge child questioned.

"I WANT YOUR SWORD" Mechkoto yelled as he E X P A N D E D A H O G E. Kirito looked at the E X P A N D E D A H O G E with infinite lust. At this moment Kirito knew. He was gay as hell. His heart started pounding like doki doki. OwO Whats this?, he thought.

Sakura petals began to fall. But they were indoors. Mechkoto screamed "I WANT THE SUCC"

"How the fuck?" Kirito was shocked by the sudden change in the mood. Mechkoto took out a shotgun and killed all the sakura petals, but in the process, shot Kiritio.

"BEFORE I DIE SUCC ME ONE LAST TIME" Kirito gasped .000002 nanoseconds after being shot. "NO! KIRITO SENPAI! DON'T LEAVE ME! I WANT THE TIP KIRITO SENPAI!" Robo ahoge shout as mmm whatcha say started playing. 

But Kirito couldn't answer. His heart was doki doki even more than ever before as he fell on the floor. "Robo ahoge...I love you" 

It was starting to get hot and steamy. A mist started to fill the air. It wasn't just normal mist... It was gay mist. Robo ahoge gasped and ran towards Kirito's half-dead body. "Kirito senpai...can we..."  
"...fuck...each other?" Kirito's doki doki was so fast it hurt now, but maybe it was because he was shot. He was almost in a dead state. But he still wished to have sex with Robo Ahoge, before he was dead for good. And just as robo ahoge thought all hope was lost, a toster burst through the window and landed right next to Kirito.

"I am the magical toster, say yer wish and it shall be granted" "I want the succ" Mechkoto said. "Alright, I shall give you the succ" The toster said and dissapeared into the void, never to be seen again. Hagakure would be amazed, if he was there. But no one cares about him in this fic, right? So as the toster dissapeared, the wound that Kirito has dissapeared. Kirito woke up then noticed Mechkoto's bulge. "OwO what's this"

"Its my donger." Mechkoto said in a sexy voice. This made robo ahoge realise, that he really loved his edgy senpai. 

"Are you ready...for me to put my dong...in you?" Robo ahoge squealed like a teenage school girl. He was smiling like a five year old kid who had just gotten a puppy for christmas. But the puppy was really a donger in disguise, poor disguise but still. The puppy was in for a treat tonight.

"Senpai, I've always loved you." Robo ahoge giggled and hugged Kirito tightly like he did with his Kirito body pillow every night. We waited for this moment ever since the dub for SAO came out. He wanted the succ.

"And that's all I've got so far!" Robo ahoge smiled proudly as pigtails sat on the floor with a disgusted expression. Pigtails wanted to leave but was slightly aroused by this. She was also scared that if she said something bad, Robo ahoge would use his BIG (but actually SMALL what a loser) banana cutter ahoge to murder her. She did not want to die a virgin. Maybe she did want to confess to Kaede before that or join in on their action, but she was too shy to ask to join. And so Kaede kicked the door open while Kirito was licking Mechkoto's throbbing midget ahoge. "WHAT'S GOING ON I HEARD SOUNDS OF A DEAD WHALE" She screamed. 

"Does Robo ahoge is gay?" Kaede asked. The rumour came out of the closet. and it was true.

"...It's true Kaede..." Mechkoto sighed. He couldn't believe that two of his classmates, have found out that he was gay to the core. But it wasn't too much of a shock, that loser wears too much makeup to hide the hickeys Kirito gave him. And everyone was gay anyway so it was pretty normal. "I mean, I'm probably gay for one of the girls. But we probably won't know her name until the game comes out- I mean what haha", Kaede said, looking at her underwear pile, full of the undies she had gotten from the other girls. "I-i mean it's not like I like her or anyway!" Kaede was actually really tsun tsun. "It's not like I like anyone anyway" She puffed out her cheeks. Mechkoto was getting annoyed by her rambling, he just wanted to get the succ from his one and only uke senpai but in a sudden plot twist, a loud noise rang in the room. 

"A BODY HAS BEEN DISCOVERED" Monokuma's terufrying voice announced and Robo ahoge knew, that this was the end of his fun. "Maybe next time, Kirito senpai" And this was the end of Mechkoto's self insert story with Kirito from SAO.

....Or does it? Upupupu~

Twintails girl forced Mechkoto to deep throat her kazoo for making her read that sin. She then bitchslapped him with her jiggle physics. Nice. Rip. The end


	4. Maizono, and Naegi's Bed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short but still awful

Maizono was stressed. She was about to kill a bitch, how could she not be? She lay on Naegi's bed, tossing and turning and waiting for that fateful hour. She ran over the plan in her head-- flash her tits to Leon to render him useless then decapitate him. It was flawless.

She giggled as she thought of her plan. As she did so, part of the pillowcase got in her mouth. Sayaka felt how soft and velvety it was. She stared at the pillow for a solid few minutes before checking the time. She had an hour before Leon came. More than enough time...

Gently, she lowered her face onto the pillow, sucking with the tenderness of a chicken wing. She moaned and grasped at the pillow thrusting more and more into her mouth. She sucked more intensely, crescendoing until....she vored the pillow whole.

As it slid down her esophogaus, Sayaka let out a moan of pure pleasure. Thinking quickly, she grabbed the sheets, and began to tie herself down. Kinky. Once her arms were somehow both tied down, she used her legs to drag a pillow into her vagina. Then Koro burst in and grabbed Naegi's bed. Maizono screamed as she was carried into meme hell.

There was only one way she could escape. She climaxed on the pillow and broke free of her sheet bondage. She placed her ass on the top of the bed and slid down. The entire bed flew up her ass. It was like vore but worse. Why am I like this. As the bed flew down Koro flew in it too. Koro was reverse vored.

Maizono then returned to her room to digest Naegi's bed. Then, Leon came. She was too chunky so he stabbed her. She then vomited the bed on him and crushed him.

I am a being of pure sin. The end.


	5. Twogami Vores Mondo's Butter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is the last one, for now

Twogami Vores Mondo's Butter: A Fattening Fic

On one beautiful day, Twogami decided to make himself some food. He slathered normal butter all over his naked body before using his abnormally large tongue to lick it all off. But just that wasn't good enough. Twogami wanted way more from this. He wanted the 'special' butter.  
Twogami slid a finger though the slick substance. It was irresistible. His pulsating boner let out the first nut of the day as he thought about the delectable spread.

Mondo was in the shower, ass naked. Twogami peered through, staring at his flat ass. "Butter starts with butt," the imposter whispered, licking his lips. This sight was so beautiful. Twogami could feel himself melt like butter. The water cascascading over his tight, toned ass created a beautiful waterfall, glistening in the sunlight.He wanted that booty which had been toned sitting on a bike the whole damn day. Twogami wasn't sure how to approach Mondo, maybe the best way was quite literally from the behind. Twogami snuck up close, and wrapped his arms around Mondo's waist. "Hello, there, Oowada-kun."  
"SENPAI?!" Mondo was quite confused. Why was this guy even here? All Mondo wanted to do right now was fuck his bike, but he left it at the mechanic store "Dammit" He thought, the image of his sexy bike still before his eyes. He wanted nothing more than to stick his baloney pony in the muffler, but it looked like that had to wait.

"Eat up, aniki," whispered Imposter, groping Mondo's ass so hard it melted into pure, hard, greasy butter. Mondo let out a gasp. No, he had to stay faithful to his beloved Bike-kin! "My ass is literally melting, what the hell do you want?!"

"I want you, Mondo-sama-senpai-san-kun-chan-sama," Imposter growled as he licked his lips. There was no stopping now, just the sinful desire guiding Twogami through this. There was no way poor Mondo was getting out of this mess.

Imposter greedily put his hands over Mondo's chest, and his fucking nips turned into butter. "Dude, could you maybe stop fuckin' doing that?" Everything might've as well been butter, the true butter-ception. The assistant principal entered, beating his meat into oblivion before his entire being bursted into butter. This situation was incredibly surreal, but it didn't matter at the moment. The imposter wanted that Mondo Butter(tm)

Imposter sensually breathed onto Mondo's neck, melting it slightly, then put his mouth to it and sucked, hard. A butter hickie! How cute, how romantic, how SMEXY! Imposter then lifted up Mondo's arm to his mouth and bit into it. "Ah..." Mondo moaned as his flesh was literally ripped away from him. Imposter went closer to Mondo's ear and whispered in his buttery breath, "You're mine now, Mondo-sama." It seemed like Imposter was enjoying himself, Mondo managed to forget about his beloved bike "I-Imposter-sama"

Everything was butter now. Even Mondo's beautifully tamed, yet flat as the plot of DR3 biker butt. Twogami had to lick the sparkling shower bottom before all of the greasy treat slipped down the drain. Ke$ha's "Cannibal" Started playing in the distance as Mondo's body was melting, quite literally. Imposter was holding the melting Mondo sexually, trying not to lose a single drop.

Everything became MMD models as Twogami vored up the butter nice and quick. It jiggled around in his bloated belly, as Mondo pleaded for escape so he could lick Bike-kin one last time. It was such a tragic story, but SHSL Predator, the Imposter, didn't seem moved by Mondo's desires. This was 10x better than anything that perverted chef could cook up. Maybe he would vore him later...he seemed like he would be good to fry up in a volcano and eat! This was the ultimate sin, not even SHSL Perverts, Teruteru and that one otaku couldn't stand a chance against this level of naughty. Twogami then shit out pure barf. Mondo grew from the puddle, cum spilling from his baby dick. Thus a new Mondo was born, such a disgusting, yet intriguing sight.

The fucking end. We are free. Now there's no sin, time to clean this up with pure fluff. See you next time on "Kirigiri shoves pure rabbit fluff up her vagina". God is watching you sinners, and will make you all pay for this blasphemy against god, especially you, hayden


	6. SHSL Peepo Killer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whoops, I forgot one. Rated E for Eternal Cringe.

Once upon a time there was a SHSL Peepo Killer  
They owned all the merchandice.  
((OOC: You fukced everyone in da school XDDD))  
Their boyfriend was Komaeda.  
U were the SHSL Peepo Killer and super sugoii  
Komaeda is made out of plastic q-tips and dead skunks and sugar.  
dis was ur bio:  
fav game is sonic 06 XD  
born on september 11 032 B.C (i lived with da dinosaurexuality: komaedasexual  
personality: super kool xDDD, hot, has good eyeballsrows x3  
looks: tight ass dam nicki your bobbles, BIG BOOBIES they are thicc, thiccer than you bitch fight mei will eat your entire family  
HATES: hinatatatattatatatatattatataboobstatatataatatattaattataatattatatata's smelly asscheeks,  
deoderant, living people xP, humanity lol, squirrels, yaoi, akane's tiddy, peepos, dat boi, ham,  
Oh!!!!!!! and ur name was Shiri Koto (dont google translate on japan shh) (googles anime names)  
loves: Memes, The pope, undertale, game theory, , 4chan, R34 XDDD,undertail, sans big jelly DONG, boys who dont shave, daddy ,Komaeda, Jesus., cow theories, secks, omelette daddy,yuri, naegg,santa cluass LORD MAGIC COW, shota,expand dong, ryouta's eye bags,sin, nekomaru's left toe,nekomaru's enhanced crotch, melon tits, ur mom in bEED ooOOo (ooc: lol im good at bURNNns 


	7. Construction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You can tell this was written by like 10 people because it goes from out of character to in character in seconds

Ishmondo Construction Workers Au 4 Hayden

Mondo was hard ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) at work in the blazing son, building School Place.

He picked up a picaxe and looked at the sky like he was being filmed for The Office.

Ishimaru was hiding behind a building, shoving a rolled up instructions manual up his ass while dancing as if he was in a Meghan Trainor music video.

 

(Meghan, discord mod, is the superior meghan)

Mondo was bored of his work, so he stopped to check on Ishimaru. The manual was halfway up his ass.

"What the evanesence fuck," he cursed, staring the clearly aroused Ishimaru down.

Mondo's pompadour grew long and hard. Ishimaru gasped. Making a face that looked a little bit like OwO, he exclaimed, "What's this? I-it's so big!" Mondo grinned, making Ishimaru blush. Mondo headbutted Ishimaru, penetrating his nose and killing him instantly. Ishimaru nutted.

That was painful, so painful, and yet, Ishimaru has never felt so good. "Could I be...a masochist?" He wondered

"You're a pretty good nutter ther, Brodai!" Oowada chuckled.

Suddenly, the pure and innocent Chihiro passed by, typing furiously on their computer with one hand. He looked over at the duo, utterly baffled.  
"Hey guys, what are you doing?" They (#genderdiscourse) asked innocently.   
"We're just uh....TRAINING FOR OUR FRIENSHIP COMPETITION!" Ishimaru shout out, trying to hide his sacred brorousel  
"Oh! Can I join too? I want to be friends!" They smiled. Oh god no baby no pls run now.  
Chihiro started to walk over to the pair, curiousity piqued. He squatted, receiving a less than desiareble view.  
Jesus is watching from above. He is disappointed that he can't join in. But who wouldn't want to see the OT3 in its full glory? . And by dissapointed, we mean nutting at the sight of the two bro's and their child

"T-This looks scary..." the programmer muttered, suddenly backing away. "I-I've got class in fifteen minutes, I should be going..." In fact Chihiro didn't have class, but this excuse was butter than nothing. He just wanted to get away from nutting hell.  
THANK GOD PLEASE PROTECT MY POOR CHILD RUN BABY RUN. At your service  
Chihiro runs....right into Nidai's chest. He stares at Nidai, going doki doki. Nidai's big spectacular bara tiddies made Chihiro gasp as they nutted right there and then

"H-Hello?" he mumbles, face flushed. Why was he running into so many bara tiddies today?

Nidai threw an entire wrecking ball at Mondo and Ishimaru, killing them instantly. They both cum at death. Nidai then picks up Chihiro and kisses his heel.   
"Senpai you're so strong...you saved me..." A single tear rolled down Chihiro's cheek. The tear melted his illusion form, revealling his true self. Chihro became an 8 foot tall bara.

"This isn't even my final form," he whispered, in his usual quiet voice as he picked Nidai up."You must know refer to me as Chi*hero* Goku-san from now on, my son" Chi-hero Goku-san whispered. The new bara lord then suplexes the shit out of Nidai.  
"I never imagined I could find someone...worthy of my body" Nidai made a pose while admiring Chihero Goku-san's bara body from his position on the cold, hard ground. What a beautiful view. But the day wasn't over yet, as the supreme gay lord Ishimaru's death brought sadness to the homes of many. Everyone nutted on his casket, while Mondo watched, sercetly alive and jacking off his pompadour.

The end....? Or is it....? *eyebrow wiggle*

It's never the end. For us, the SHSL Sinner club owO.   
*glomp intensifies* ZE ENDO


	8. Kirigiri, Usami, And More

In the construction fic, we mentioned Kirigiri shoving rabbit fluff up her vagina. That's your theme, kids. Go nuts.  
ummmmmmmmmmmmmm  
kinky  
DONT BRING USAMI INTO THIS GOD WHY  
TIME FOR USAMI TO LOSE HER MCFUCKING INNOCENCE  
just know this is going on the ao3 mirror. So do your best  
R i p Usami  
Bye Uami  
uami

Usami was innocently wandering around Hope's Peak High School one day. "I wonder where Maizono is!" she called happily. She saw Kirigiri fucking a dead body and waved, nothing unusual for that wacky girl! Seems as if everything was going normally for the students. "Hi Kiri! Have you seen Maizono?" Kirigiri looked at Usami and took out a pair of shears. "I wonder..." the detective mumbled.

Usami looked at the girl amused. "Kirigiri-san, why do you have those?" she asked, not being able to piece together what was about to happen.

Kirigiri walked toward the rabbit, her face static as always. Just what was this thing made of? It wasn't nevessarily evil to think of. The detective then straddled the machine against the floor. Not in a sexual way, more of in a "I'm doing some mystery solving, bitch," kind of way. Either way, Usami gonna be dead.  
Usami quivered as Kirigiri stabbed her in the foot, killing her instantly. Usami screamed and exploded, leaving behind a burnt tuft of fluff and her magic stick. Fucking rip Usami jesus christ get a SHSL funeral ower on this shit. Actually, no, no one likes Usami anymore. Because she ded.

Usami's spirit watched with both pleasure and fear as Kirigiri longingly licked the fluff tuff from the cold floor. Usami was totally not magically jerking off to this in the afterlife. We did it kids. We ruined the robot. Why.

As Kirigiri stroked it, Ruruka Andou entered. "What the fucking christ," Ruruka spat, whipping out a gun. Kirigiri nae nae'd menacingly. Ruruka pulled the trigger, destroying the magic stick because her fucking aim sucked and she missed by a mile git good Ruruka. Then Ruruka died from newpussycat. What is newpussycat, you ask? WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH Bitch. That's what she gets for FUCKING KILLING KIZAKURA AND IZYAOI. Rest in fucking pieces. She won't be missed. Probably. Skittle chill,No she killed Kizakura and Izyaoi. hi welcome to discourse paragraph where we neglect the fic to discourse. anyways everyone is a sinner dont blame ruruka

Ruruka then got super horny and fucked ghost Usami passionately. She loved getting all that ectoplasm in her pussy.

 

The Kill Bill alarms blasted and a challenger approached! It was... Ghost Seiko!

"Surprise motherfucker. I'm here and ready to fuck. " ghost Seiko murmured. "You're mcfucking gay."

Ruruka cried. "B-But...!"

She weeped into Seiko's ghostly arm. Seiko threw down some ghost heroin for Kirigiri before passionately rubbing Ruruka's middle finger almost to a kinky level. "It's not gay if it's in a threeway," she said, pointing over at Ghost Izayoi. Ghost Izayoi, also known as Ghost Sugar Daddy, waved. 

But first they had to go in a seperate room that didn't happen to contain a certain Ghost Bandai. Then they could have a nice little threeway without ruining precious Bandai. Bandai then walks in on them and combusts instantly. His tears falling everywhere like molten lava. Bandai, you do not do that. Bad. Bad Bandai. Go get fucked by Gozu, you weren't meant to see that. Bandai walks away, shedding a single tear.

 

Out of the blue came Shia Lebouf! Why was he here? No one knew. He threw an axe at Kirigiri, knocking the rabbit fluff into her vagina. She tugged up and down, waggling it like a tail. Kirigiri moaned loud and passionately, and extreamly sensually. She would've orgasmed if it was Cool Cat in her vagina.

This is too many cameos for once fic. Jin Kirigiri takes out a shotgun and kills everything, saving his daughter from sin. The end.  
rnally and forever. This fic should've never existed. Me too thanks.


	9. The Light in the Galaxy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomes wrote this one by himself. Singular sin.

The local Pizza Hut was empty and brooding. The only souls there were three elderly women in maid dresses and cat ears there as servers. Off in west Philadelphia, born on raised, near a playground the building spent most of its days. It was truly the perfect place.

Sonosuke Izayoi and Ryota Mitarai walked into the Pizza Hut longingly, ready to rub their libs over some hot and greasy pizza.

"What toppings are you getting, Izadaddy?" Ryota asked, curiously.

"I think I'll have some....sausage," Izaoi mumbled seductively.

But Ryota was oblivious. "Ah yes, that is good, I prefer mushrooms though,"

As they ordered and waiting in the dark and brooding and edgy pizza hut, the dlerly servers stumbling along, Izayoi noticed they were sitting next to an antique lamp. God he fucking loved lamps. It was so green, like the grass he fucked Ryota in once. It reminded him of that. Izayoi got a boner.

He tenderly picked up the lamp, running his hard daggers over it, "What are you doing, Sono?" Mitarai asked, anxiously. In one swift motion, Izayoi thrust the lamp forward, shoving it into Ryota's mouth.

"Vore it whole."

Ryota gagged, trying to spit it out, but Izayoi kept thrusting it deeper and deeper in. Eventually, Ryota vomited, projectiling the lamp right into the head of one of the servers, killing her instantly. Izayoi went and retrieved it while Ryota screamed.

"I JUST FUCKING KILLED SOMEONE!" the tiny child wailed. Izayoi shook his head.

"No death, only lamps now."

Time passed and the pizza came. Ryota was so so hungry! He loved mushroms. They gave him visions. But when he took a bite out of it, all he tasted was a plug-in. It was so electrocuting that he spit it out.

"God fucking dammit Izadaddy," he cursed. "We need to hide the body, just let me finish the pizza first!"

Izayoi shook his head and stroked the lamp. It was then that Mitarai realized his raging desires. He took the lamp and dragged Izayoi into the bathroom.

"Ready when you are,"

As izayoi tenderly shoved his lamp into Ryota on the sticky public bathroom floor, one of the elderly ladies walked in.

"Fools," she whispered, taking off her mask. It was Kenta Enoshima! A ton of lamps flew out. The lamps tightened around Izayota.

"Welcome to my trap! Now then..."

Izayoi screamed as Kenta tickled his armpits. He spasmed around desperately. Ryota knew he had to do something. He took one of the lamps. He remembered its plugin cord that he ate twelve second ago. And he threw it at Kenta.

Kenta Enoshima vored the lamp whole. He screamed and then combusted and then so did planet Earth. Floating lifelessly in space, Ryota and Izayoi kissed tenderly.

"The lamp is still intact," Ryota whispered, picking it up gently. Izayoi smiled, spreading his asscheeks wide in the void of space, amongst the ruins of Pizza Hut.

The end.


End file.
